hack: Teh AIDS Chronicels
by Shadow Phantazy
Summary: Haseo needs Alkaid's help to destroy AIDA! Could this be her one chance to win Haseo's love?This might be the most epic fanfic ever to grace the .hack section of FFNContains HaseoXAlkaid & SiriusXAlkaid.Collab between Profoundly Mad and I for the lulz.


.hack: Teh AIDS Chronicels

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AN: This fic is a collaboration between Profoundly Mad and I. It was heavily inspired by the fic Half Life: Full Life Consequences. (See my profile for links) And no, it's not meant to be taken Siriusly- I mean seriously.

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One day chika woke up and got her compter turn on when she get mail from hASEO OMG. she wuz so happy cause Haso was relly rlly cute an she leiked him lots. the mail said AIDA was attaking his athome so he we needed help! chika loged in and said "Today i will win Haseous luv and save him from teh SIDA!" so she had to go.

Wen she was in teh root town, Chika becam Alked. Alked hurried to Canards at hom as a fast pace becuz she didn't have lvl 150 wepon. Along teh way, Serious stoped her and sed "wat do u tink ur doin?"

Chika, with her mind on Haseyo replid "I ned to save Haseo from AIDS! N tehn he wil luv me lots!" Sirius' face was pal. "Wah!?" Serios sed. "AIDA is back!?"

To teh at home on teh duble! They went tehre on TaIHAku's stem bike which Sirius stole becuz he culd.

At teh atHOMe there whas AIDS EVERWHAR! Evryone but HAseo has been PKed by the AIDA! Akaid was so scard bcuz AIDS can put u in a coma, but tinking of HASEYOO gave her STRENGTH and so Sirious and her ran inside. Haseo saw her adn yelled "ALKAIDS OVER HERE" at the top of lungs while he fought the SIDS boss! Altoids wus goin to help but tehn Deth Grunty got in the way and said "Whar do u thik ure going?" And ALkaids relaized he was infected by AIDS too!

Teh deth gruntey had n evil glar in its eyes. Taht glare was a lustfil won. "Screw this" Alked said. She didn wana get DIDA raped again, lik bordeux did wen she PKED her, by a pig no less. Serious cam from nowhere n steped on teh evil gruny n hit it for MASSIVE DAMAGE! "Go and sav Haseeyo!"

Alkeds hart was beting...this waz her chance to save teh man of her drems! She redied her wepon and struc teh AIDS monstur harassing Haseo. "Dun wory Haseyo, ur numbr one fan is here to show ma felins for yoo!"

ALkAiNE atacked the ebil AIDA boss wit all of her hart and the powar of TRU LUV gav her SUPER STREnGT! Teh AIDA boss proteckt broke and Haseo turnd into Sketh and deta drained teh AIDA! everione cheared for Hasieyo amnd Altoids!

Haseo siad "Thanx for teh help, Alkiad." Ans Alkaid said "Yur welcome." Tehn she blshed adn said "Heseo, I have sumthing too tell yu-" but Haseo wasnt listning bcause out of noware blue flames appaered in the AThome! "Nooo! Elkaids, get out of here as hear as fast as u can!" Haseyo yeld!

"Huh?" Chika repondod. behind her, teh figur of Azure Kit appeared.

Azure KitE sed "..." ElkAIDS turn'd round an wiz frozon in shoc becuz she was so scared and culdnt muv because of it. Kit loked her in teh eye and tehn tried to atack her with his pimped out twan blads.

"Alked!!!!!!!!!!!" Haseo shouted. Alked managed to dodge teh attack and struck down teh kit with hur twin blade. Haseo then transformed into sKith n data drained Kite so he went away.

"Thanks ElkAIDs...yoo saved me" Haseo sed. "ohh Haseyo..." Chika sed as she walked towards him. Sudenly she triped n landed on Haso who fell on grond.

Acklaid blushd so seh was as red as her hair! Haseo bulshed too and siad "whut were u gointo say earlier, Elkaids?" Alkaid sid "I lo-" but then Gapasrd yeld "U did it HASEO!!! D D D" an jumpd on him. and tehn everywon started to PARTY! but LAkcaid was so sad cuz she mised her chanse to get Hoseao taht she just left and whent to bac to Ekolo's home with Serious.

Wen Acklid got tere, she sed to Serious "Dam it! Eye luv Haso an mised my oportunity!". Sirus tok pity on ElkAIDS an confesed "Alked...It pans me too see yoo hurt. I want you 2 b hapy, even with anoter gie other than me. Teh truth is Alked...I luv yoo n I wana cuddle yoo and chrissh you. I don care about age diferenses, I luv yoo too much too care".

Alked couldn't hep but blush n sed "Serious... I..hAd no ideaz you fel that way about me. I dunno wat too say. But eye luove Haseyo...im confuzed...lemme talk wit Haseo first. I ned to tink tings ovar!".

To be continued...?


End file.
